One Man’s Opinion: Mr. S
Mr. S has been the Loving Milk Maid’s constant companion for 16 years. They will soon be celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary, and together, they are the parents of three
perfect children, who range in age from 7 to 14. Throughout their marriage, they have shared a loving ANR, and continue to work diligently on building their relationship and strengthening their marriage.
Mr. S has graciously agreed to share his thoughts on the dedicated adult nursing relationship he shares with his wife (as if he had a choice!) in “One Man’s Opinion”.
One Man’s Opinion
An Interview with Mr. S
LMM: Some people say that they have longed for a committed ANR their entire life. Was it that way for you?
Mr. S: No. I had no idea that I would be interested in something like this until I met you. After E [our oldest son] was born, I think that’s when I realized that I wanted to try nursing. I wanted to be a part of what you two were sharing.
LMM: I remember when you first came to the breast for proper nursing…the baby was about three weeks old…
Mr. S: I remember.
LMM: I could tell that you wanted to nurse, but you wouldn’t ask.
Mr. S: I wanted to ask, but I guess I was too shy.
LMM: You? Shy? Yeah, right!
Mr. S: I really was. Even after everything we’d been through, I thought it was too much to ask for; maybe I thought you’d think it was strange.
LMM: Even after the whole time I was pregnant? When I was lactating, and didn’t stop you from enjoying yourself?
Mr. S: That was different, though. That was breast play…and you were really into it. What I had trouble asking for was proper feeding. There really is a difference. And there’s always that fear of rejection.
LMM: If I hadn’t taken the initiative and offered the breast to you, do you think you ever would have asked to be nursed?
Mr. S: I think I would have. Eventually. After I watched you and E, I started to understand how much I wanted that bonding experience, too. I wanted to be as close to you as our son was. So…yes. I know that I would have asked. I’m glad you’re a mind reader, baby, and knew to take the first step, though.
LMM: At least you felt comfortable enough to tell me what you wanted afterwards.
Mr. S: That was the easy part. I’m a lot more fortunate than some men. You’re really into this, too, and it makes it so easy to be able to open up an ANR and completely enjoy it.
LMM: And we do!
Mr. S: Yes, we do.
LMM: In your opinion, what is the best thing about our ANR?
Mr. S: You mean aside from the fact that I get to have your boobs in my mouth, at the minimum of, two times a day?
LMM: Umm…yes. Aside from that.
Mr. S: It’s complete sharing. It’s a totally open, totally honest relationship. I’ve never felt closer to another person in my entire life, and I love it. I love the intimacy. I love the way you rub my hair and my face while I’m nursing. You make me feel so good. When I’m at the breast, everything disappears. It feels like nothing else will ever matter again, that there’s just you and me. It’s a good feeling. It makes me feel protected instead of having to be the protector. And I like being so close to you.
LMM: We’re connected now.
Mr. S: We are.
LMM: What do you think is the biggest challenge that men face within their own ANR?
Mr. S: I think it’s the fact that we’re placed into a certain category, and expected to behave a certain way because we’re male. We’re taught that “real men” don’t cry, “real men” aren’t sensitive. “Real men” don’t have feelings, but if they do, they aren’t supposed to show them. I could have let myself fall into that trap, and I think I did, in a way. Now, I don’t care who knows that I have emotions–or how much I love my wife–and that’s because of you, the way you showed me years ago, that I could have a sensitive side, and it was okay. You know I’m crazy about you, baby.
Mr. S: Awww…
LMM: There really is that fear of vulnerability, isn’t there?
Mr. S: Yes. Nobody wants to feel vulnerable–or be viewed that way.
LMM: Do you think that’s why some men have difficulty asking their partner for the breast?
Mr. S: Of course. When you ask your wife to be nursed, you’re literally throwing yourself out there to her, exposing every emotion, every part of you, it’s letting your guard down, really letting her inside your head. That’s hard to do; I think there would be a lot of questions, a lot of fear that she might see you differently.
LMM: Because feelings are fragile…
Mr. S: They can be, yes. Maybe it depends on how thick-skinned you are, though.
LMM: You mean, when it comes to the possible rejection of being turned away once you ask for a nursing session?
Mr. S: Yes. Some people handle it better than others, and have the mindset of “oh, well. At least I asked”. I don’t know if it’s actually the rejection itself, or the way you would feel afterwards. Maybe it would make you feel stupid? I don’t know…nobody wants to feel stupid.
LMM: Let’s talk dry versus wet nursing. We’ve done both.
Mr. S: We have. Many times.
LMM: Do you have a personal preference?
Mr. S: You know I love both. I always have. The bond is the same whether there is milk flow or not. I would nurse from you even if you never produced a single drop of milk. There is so much intimacy involved in an ANR. We give and take completely. In a way, both of us are bringing raw emotion to our bed. You’re giving me a part of you that no other man has ever known, and I’m showing you how much I want it, how badly I need it.
LMM: But what is your preference?
Mr. S: If I had to choose, which obviously I do right now, I would say that wet nursing is my preference.
LMM: I knew it! So, what is it about the milk aspect within our nursing relationship that you love so much?
Mr. S: For me, breast milk takes that intimacy to an even higher level. You constantly amaze me. What your body can do amazes me. I’m also impressed and surprised by how fast you’ve been able to re-lactate. I can’t describe how it makes me feel to be able to drink from you. I love doing this with you. I’m a lucky man.
LMM: It really is a partnership, isn’t it?
Mr. S: It is. I really liked the first few days, right after we decided to re-lactate, when your body and emotions began the hormonal process. There was such a soft, needing side to you that made me feel even more like your protector. You seemed so fragile and feminine…it was very intense, very emotionally moving. I knew that I could bring something important to you, something that you needed, something that only I could give you. It was a good feeling.
LMM: I always need you.
Mr. S: I always need you, too.
LMM: Tell me your opinion on the benefits of sharing a true, dedicated ANR within the bonds of a loving partnership.
Mr. S: Aside from the incredible level of intimacy, I think couples will fall even more in love because their commitment to each other is going to be a lot stronger. They’ll be spending time together, without any worldly distractions, and might even learn some new things about one another. It’s sharing on the highest level imaginable. They’ll work together as a team to make this possible, and working side by side is the best way to come together as a couple. Physically, I honestly feel better, too. I sleep better at night, I’m fully relaxed, and ready to take on the world the next day. I don’t know if that’s because of your good, healthy milk, or if it stems from my emotions, but something is definitely working.
LMM: Now that we have re-opened our ANR, and you’re fully aware of the pleasure it brings, if I were to ever end the nursing relationship, would you still need it so deeply that you would consider looking elsewhere for a nursemaid?
Mr. S: Absolutely not. I am 100% committed and faithful to you. I do not love you because you allow me to nurse. It’s a bonus inside our marriage, but it is not the reason I stay. I can’t imagine doing this with anyone but you. I don’t want to do this with anyone but you. I won’t lie, if we stopped nursing, I would miss it, but I guess we’d have to find something else to do as a couple, to be able to share that hour of alone time.
LMM: Like bird-watching, maybe?
Mr. S: Yes, like that. Why? Are you stopping this?
LMM: No. I just thought I’d ask. You know, inquiring minds and all…I have a couple more questions.
Mr. S: Ask me anything, baby.
LMM: We’ve always done our best to keep our nursing relationship private. How do you feel, knowing that I now blog about this? And that well over 5,000 people have taken a glimpse into such a personal part of our life?
Mr. S: I think it’s great. I’m so proud of you. The emails and messages you’ve gotten have been very meaningful–and I know the support and encouragement and acceptance of our lifestyle has meant a lot to you. And I really believe that you’re helping people. I want you to keep going, I want you to succeed. It’s good, very, very good.
LMM: Do you think you’ll ever be comfortable telling people about this?
Mr. S: Oh, yeah. I’m ready to start opening up publicly right now.
LMM: Are you serious?
Mr. S: Yes. Are you really surprised?
Mr. S: I want everyone to know what nursing has done for us as a couple. I’m not ashamed to let anyone know that I feed from my wife–or that I’m the man who has the privilege of being with such a smoking hot lady. I am amazed by our relationship, by every part of it, including the fact that after almost 15 years of marriage, it continues to grow, it continues to improve. And I love you more every day. It isn’t just the ANR that’s done all of this, but it’s a big part of it, I think, and that’s why I’d encourage others to at least try nursing once. If feeding plays a part in keeping a marriage strong and together, then I’m all for it, and know that it can only be right. I’m not embarrassed. I keep it quiet because I know that you aren’t ready to explain this to our families yet. We need to bring more attention to nursing, and work to change the misconceptions and the negative way it can be viewed.
LMM: I agree! Thank you for letting me interview you.
Mr. S: Any time. You know I’ll do anything for you, baby.
LMM: I love you.
Mr. S: I love you, too.
I hope you enjoyed “One Man’s Opinion”. Next week, I’ll be sharing Maddie’s personal ANR story in “ISO LT ANR”.
Would you like to tell the Loving Milk Maid about your personal ANR? If you have something you’d like to share, just fill out the form below and send it to her. Your personal interview may be featured on bountifulfruits.com!