Maddie, 29, is a single professional woman with a degree in education. Never married and childless, she has longed for the closeness of a dedicated ANR for many years, but after numerous futile attempts at finding the right partner, Maddie has learned a great deal about what is required of a committed nursing partner, and was wonderful enough to share her experience with me–and you.
ISO LT ANR
An Interview with Maddie
LMM: First of all, thank you for sharing your story. I know it isn’t always easy to open up and discuss the adult nursing relationship. Can you tell me when you first realized that the ANR lifestyle was something that interested you?
Maddie: I was really young, maybe 12 or 13. My aunt was breastfeeding my cousin, and it seemed fascinating to me. I wanted to try it. But I knew I couldn’t tell anyone how I felt; I was afraid they would think something was wrong with me, so I hid it. But I would think about it a lot, and it was upsetting because I wanted it so badly and knew there was nothing I could do about it.
LMM: What did you want to try? The suckling or being suckled?
Maddie: Being suckled. That’s my personal interest in an ANR.
LMM: I don’t know if many people understand the complexities involved in adult nursing relationships. Because the lifestyle is so personal, reasons for desiring an ANR are very diverse. For me, the desire stems from the urge to suckle, and to nurture rather than the desire for suckling stimulation.
Maddie: I didn’t understand it, either. There are still a lot of things I don’t understand about ANR, like why I want it so much. I just do. I can’t really explain it.
LMM: I don’t believe anyone has to justify their desires for adult nursing–or offer explanations regarding those desires. Obviously, for you, the desire to practice the lifestyle has evolved into a true need over the years. A common misconception is that people are attempting to fill a void in their lives with nursing. Do you agree with that?
Maddie: Not really. I love my job, I have a really fulfilling life with friends and family. There’s something missing right now, but I’m not unhappy about other parts of my life. I guess, for me, the ANR is the void that I hope to eventually fill.
LMM: You told me that you were involved in a domestic partnership for many years. Did you ever express your desire for an ANR to your life partner?
Maddie: I did finally tell him after we’d been together for about a year.
LMM: What was his reaction to that?
Maddie: At first, he thought I was joking, especially after I told him that I wanted to lactate. I’m sure it sounded strange to him, but when he realized that I was serious, he started to ask a lot of questions, which made me think that we were going to begin nursing. But we never did, because he just couldn’t get interested in it.
LMM: Did his reluctance to open an ANR play a factor in your break-up?
Maddie: Sometimes, I think it did, because I was so focused on nursing. I think it hindered me, and I wasn’t able to see everything that was good about our relationship.
LMM: You told me that after the separation, you began to actively search for an ANR partner. Can you tell me about that?
Maddie: I was so desperate for a nursing relationship that I started posting personal ads on craigslist, hoping to find someone who shared my interest in nursing. I thought it would be the best place to start, and I got a lot of emails after my listing was posted, but, unfortunately, most of the messages were from men who wanted to see photos of my breasts, or men who were just curious about breastfeeding. I had a lot of offers from men who were willing to nurse from me because they wanted to know what it was like, and some from married men who were willing to engage in a long-term ANR because their wives wouldn’t nurse them, which I wasn’t open to. It was really frustrating. Nobody seemed to understand what I was looking for–and I don’t think any of them really cared.
LMM: Do you think that’s because many people don’t understand the commitment and responsibility that is required of a nursing partner?
Maddie: Definitely. The men I met seemed to want the experience to satisfy a curiosity, and wanted a one-time thing, more like a hook-up. Most of the offers were about sex; they agreed to nurse, but expected sex. I had to weed through a lot of nonsense, even some joke emails from people who thought it was funny to string me along and ask a lot of rude questions. It was discouraging.
LMM: When searching for a partner, was your ideal companion a man who would solely nurse, or were you seeking a dedicated relationship that included nursing?
Maddie: I was very open to a long-term relationship. When I placed my personal ads, looking for an adult nursing partner, I was hoping that it might possibly lead to more.
LMM: How long did this go on? And did you ever make a connection through one of your personal ads?
Maddie: It took six months before I finally met a man that seemed compatible. By the time we met, I was suffering from a lot of depression because I hadn’t been able to find a nursing partner. I nursed him three times, and then, it ended.
LMM: Did you learn that you weren’t compatible, or did the brief relationship end for other reasons?
Maddie: I actually realized that the entire situation just wasn’t right. Even when he was nursing, it just seemed awkward and uncomfortable. It was nice to be able to have the chance to try, but it didn’t really meet my needs or expectations. And he really wasn’t as interested in nursing as he’d thought he would be.
LMM: Was that difficult to admit and accept?
Maddie: It actually wasn’t, and I thought it would be. I thought I would end up suffering more depression and unhappiness, but it was actually a very helpful learning experience. It showed me that the nursing wasn’t right because my situation wasn’t right.
LMM: Did that experience change your feelings regarding the opening of an ANR again in the future?
Maddie: I still want one. Very much. But the burning desire isn’t as strong as it was. Now, I don’t feel that it’s as much of a priority. I would love to have the chance to experience a true ANR with the right person, because now I know that as much as I want to be suckled, I would rather know the feeling of intimacy. Before I placed my craigslist ads, I was inducing lactation so I would be ready for my partner. I’ve stopped doing that now because at this point in my life, I am no longer looking for a nursing partner.
LMM: Your focus has changed?
Maddie: Yes. Someday, I really hope to find a long-term relationship. When I meet the right man, I know that I’ll bring up an ANR to him, because I don’t think my desire for one will ever really go away totally. But I won’t make nursing my primary goal inside the relationship. I would rather be happy in many ways than in just one way.
LMM: I think that’s really wonderful advice, Maddie. Thank you again so much for allowing me to interview you.
Maddie: Thank you.
I hope you enjoyed “ISO LT ANR”. Next week (5/2/16), I’ll be sharing Samantha and Mr. M’s personal ANR story in “The Beautiful Discovery”.
To read “One Man’s Opinion”, please CLICK HERE
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