Mrs. D is a 39-year-old professional who works in Sales & Service, and her husband, Mr. E., 45, is a business analyst. They have been together as a loving couple for 12 years, married for 11, and are the parents of three wonderful teen-agers, ages 18, 16, and 15. I first had the privilege of meeting Mrs. D through Bountiful Fruits when she contacted me with this beautiful message:
Our ANR journey started about 4 years ago. We stumbled on this as I was beginning my treatment for fibrocystic breasts. I struggled with breast pain for years. Thankfully, I have such a wonderful husband, open minded enough to start an ANR. Since starting our ANR, I no longer suffer.
At first, as we started this journey, we had to truly sort through our emotions, as to was this wrong or right. We all know how society can make us feel, right! Sadly, more do not engage in this, or, if so, then they don’t/can’t proudly discuss, including us.
Our ANR has blossomed into something so beautiful over the years. Not only has it brought us closer together, but in general, we’ve found such peace. Nothing (life in general) seems to be as crazy as it once was. There is truly nothing like unwinding from your day in each other’s arms as I share myself with my husband. We can’t imagine life without ANR!
I was immediately moved by the beauty and candor of Mrs. D’s words, and when I asked her what ANR means to her, and she replied with, “PURE serenity is one of the first things that comes to mind! There’s nothing like feeling my husband snuggle close as he takes in my breast. It’s as if life completely fades away,” I knew that I had to share this amazing lady’s story with others! I think you’ll find that Mr. E, who was generous enough to share his thoughts, too, shows that love holds no barriers, as he brings both emotional and physical comfort to his wife through the practice of a loving ANR. I hope you enjoy “Pure Serenity”.
An Interview with Mrs. D
LMM: Although you discovered the ANR lifestyle by chance, was it your search to find ways to control breast pain that led you to seek further information on nursing?
Mrs. D: I knew stimulation was helpful in controlling breast pain, which sparked my interest, and I wanted to know more.
LMM: Was ANR something that you were always interested in, or did you choose to open your ANR based on the health benefits it obviously provides?
Mrs. D: I never knew anything like it existed. At first, it was opened for the health benefits. It wasn’t until after we experienced the emotional side of nursing did we feel that the experience goes hand in hand. The added benefit is the emotional connection we were able to establish because of it.
LMM: Since your journey began with the hope of gaining health benefits from the experience, did you and your husband initially realize how many emotional benefits would also arise from the nursing experience?
Mrs. D: No, we didn’t. Not at all. Once we sorted through how it made us feel, it turned into one of the most beautiful things we share together as a couple.
LMM: And when did you realize that nursing truly is an emotional connection?
Mrs. D: Right away, we felt something, but we couldn’t really explain it. With more conversation between one another, and by being open and honest, we knew we were venturing on more of an emotional connection.
LMM: Let’s talk a little more about pain control. Did you begin breast therapy by solely pumping? And how long did you do this before incorporating suckling into your daily routine?
Mrs. D: Yes, but I didn’t solely pump for long before introducing some suckling. We had to work on my husband’s jaw stamina to enhance the experience. Now, we attempt to spend time together nightly, and as time permits. I also pump twice daily, and Mr. E incorporates breast massage into our schedule.
LMM: What made you decide to include suckling into your routine?
Mr. E: The main focus was to help eliminate breast pain. As the husband, I wanted to do anything that I could to help. I knew that on a physical level, I enjoyed being with her, but with the mindset of wanting to help, it also changed the experience and made it more intimate, past the physical and more emotional.
LMM: You must be a wonderful husband! Your ANR is so unique because you are easing discomfort as you work alongside one another to build an unbreakable bond! Mrs. D, how did you broach the subject of opening an ANR with Mr. E., and what was his initial reaction to the suggestion?
Mrs. D: I came right out and asked him, and his first reaction was a “raised eyebrow” as he processed what I’d asked him.
LMM: I have read so much about the benefits of pumping and extended nursing in regard to breast health, and I am a firm believer in both. Was pumping a medical suggestion given to you by your physician, or were you first to broach the subject? And how dd you discuss pumping and nursing with your health care professional?
Mrs. D: My breast specialist suggested breast massage, stimulation, or pumping. The doctor suggested that I first rent a pump to test the waters before purchasing a pump. When I had my yearly exam with my OB/GYN, I explained to him what we had been doing, and he instructed me to continue, as it was beneficial for the reduction of fibrocystic breast pain, and has also helped with my leaky breast ducts.
LMM: If you don’t mind, I would love to discuss your breast pumps. I understand that you use both a manual and electric pump. Which brands do you currently use, and how well have they worked for you? Do you find them effective and cost-efficient?
Mrs. D: I currently pump with a Spectra S1 with a rechargeable battery, which I love! It has a vibration let-down mode that is fully adjustable to suit me. This is a hospital grade pump with a closed system that is very affordable. It includes a night light and timer. Hands down, the suction is the best. I purchased this pump on Amazon for $185. I also have a Phillips Avent manual comfort brand pump for when I am on the go. I purchased it from Babies R Us for $39.99. The manual pump has just the right amount of suction that works for me. I’ve read tons of reviews on many different pumps over the years. It is honestly about trial and error, and finding what works best for you.
LMM: That is wonderful advice–and very true. Not every pump is suited to every woman, as we are all so unique, and sometimes require the aid of a breast pump for very different needs. What pumps have you used in the past, and how did they compare to your Spectra and Avent models?
Mrs. D: The Medela Pump in Style and Medela manual pump did not offer a strong enough suction, which caused me to have issues with my let-down.
LMM: From a physical standpoint, what benefits have you noticed from nursing, and what advice would you give to the women who suffer from breast pain?
Mrs. D: I no longer suffer from breast pain. Research and have an open mind. Only you know what will work for you.
LMM: Wonderful! And on an emotional level? What are some positive changes that the adult nursing relationship has brought to your marriage?
Mrs. D: We have experienced more of an intimate, emotional bond, a need for one another, to be able to share that moment as a way to complete the way. But to be able to share the same experience without saying a word…we both feel complete.
LMM: Have you faced any challenges as a nursing couple?
Mrs. D: The main challenges we have faced are time, consistency, and finding the right nursing position. In the beginning, my husband’s jaw would grow tired quickly.
LMM: What advice would you give to other couples who are considering the opening of an ANR in their own relationship?
Mrs. D: Communication is the key to any relationship. When you stop communicating, it can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstanding. When you start an ANR, it’s very important to be open, honest, and put everything on the table.
LMM: Again, that is wonderful advice! Thank you again, Mrs. D–and Mr. E–for sharing your personal experience with us!
Mrs. D: Thank you for finding interest in our story and for talking to me. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you!
Four More Unique ANR Stories
ONE MAN’S OPINION: The Loving Milk Maid’s very own Mr. S discusses his views on the dedicated Adult Nursing Relationship
ISO: LT ANR: Maddie discusses why she no longer searches for the casual nursing relationship
A BEAUTIFUL DISCOVERY: When Samantha and Mr. M opened a loving ANR, they found new levels of love and intimacy that neither had believed possible
MENDING METHOD: Nancy tells how ANR helped to repair a somewhat troubled marriage.
Would you like to tell the Loving Milk Maid about your personal ANR? If you have something you’d like to share, just fill out the form below and send it to her. Your personal interview may be featured on bountifulfruits.com!