Mending Method: Nancy
Nancy, a 44-year-old retail sales manager, and 45-year-old Paul, who works in real estate, have been married for 12 years, and, like many couples, often found themselves overwhelmed by day-to-day struggles that threatened to put a strain on their marriage, a marriage that both were determined to keep together. I met Nancy after reading a beautiful email that she left for me, and I loved her determination and drive to ensure that her relationship remained strong and intact. I knew that readers would enjoy meeting her and reading her personal ANR story. Nancy was wonderful enough to share her experience with me and allow me to share it with you, too. Please enjoy “Mending Method”.
An Interview with Nancy
LMM: Before we begin, I would like to thank you for being so open and honest about your relationship with Paul. I understand that, due to many extenuating circumstances, it had begun to falter, and you were concerned that the problems would eventually lead to divorce. Can you tell me a little more about that?
Nancy: Life is just hard in general right now, not just for us, but for a lot of people. I could feel myself getting pulled away from my husband, and it was scary. We were both in bad marriages before, and I ‘ve always been afraid of a second divorce. When I would bring it up to him, he would say, “We aren’t going to get divorced,” and I knew he meant it, but it was still possible that we might.
LMM: Obviously, you were still in love with Paul, and wanted to make sure that you remained married at any cost. Is that correct?
Nancy: Yes. Nothing was really terrible. We were just under a lot of stress, and we weren’t spending much time together any more. I definitely wanted to stay married to him.
LMM: Would you say there was a lack of communication?
Nancy: Definitely. I started thinking about ways to keep our marriage together, and did a lot of searching online for tips and advice.
LMM: Is that how you discovered ANR?
Nancy: Yes. I had no clue that something like this even existed, but after I read about it, I realized that it was something that I might be very interested in trying. I wasn’t sure what Paul would think, so I didn’t say anything to him for a while.
LMM: When you finally made the decision to broach the subject, how did you approach him with the idea?
Nancy: One evening I just told him that we needed to talk. He said okay, and I told him that we both needed to work harder to fix our marriage. When he agreed and asked me what I thought we should do, I said, “Well, we could nurse.”
LMM: I love the openness of that! What was his reaction to your suggestion?
Nancy: He honestly said, “What does that mean?” I explained ANR to him, what I had learned about it, and he shook his head, and said, “I’ve had a lot of fantasies in my lifetime, but that is not one of them.” I was embarrassed, but we laughed it off, and didn’t discuss it again.
LMM: Although your first discussion didn’t lead to an immediate nursing session, he eventually became willing to try. Can we talk about how you finally came to experience nursing?
Nancy: One night while we were in bed, I turned to him and said, “I know you aren’t interested, but I would really like to feed you, and I think we should do it once, to see how we both feel about it,” because even though I thought I wanted an ANR, I can honestly say that I wasn’t sure. I thought I might not enjoy it after we experimented. He was still hesitant, but after he realized how important it was to me, he agreed to try that night.
LMM: How did the nursing experience make you feel? And how did your husband respond to it?
Nancy: It was the most amazing thing I’d ever felt in my life! And he was surprised by how much he enjoyed it, too. And it wasn’t just physical; I felt emotionally amazing, too. I honestly felt that immediate connection, that bond I’d read about. Paul told me the next day that he felt the same way, and we agreed to nurse every night from that point.
LMM: How long have you been a nursing couple?
Nancy: We have nursed every night for three months, and because of the changes we’ve seen in our marriage, we both feel that this is something we will spend a lifetime enjoying.
LMM: Have you chosen to induce and/or include lactation into your ANR? And why did you make such a decision?
Nancy: We have chosen to dry nurse, a decision that we are both very comfortable with. Neither Paul nor I feel the need to include breast milk into our own ANR, so, right now, I am not making plans to induce lactation, but I really admire the women who do! It shows such a dedication and commitment to their relationship!
LMM: It is definitely a labor of love at times! Let’s talk about the positive changes ANR has brought to your marriage.
Nancy: It’s brought us back together as a couple. We were drifting apart in some ways, and ANR has helped us communicate more openly about our feelings and our needs. It’s made both of us remember why we fell in love in the first place–we were so in love back then, and even though we never completely fell out of love, I think we were both too comfortable with our every day life. It’s hard for both of us to admit such a reality, but we have discussed our past relationships, and we’ve both agreed that if we had shared an ANR with our former spouses, we might not have divorced them.
LMM: Because nursing can help to mend a crumbling foundation relationship as long as there is still hope for repair?
Nancy: Yes. I think it can.
LMM: What advice would you give to someone who wants an ANR, but doesn’t know how to tell their partner about such a desire?
Nancy: Be honest. Talk about what you truly want and why. And be persistent. The ANR that my husband and I share did not happen overnight. It took some time for Paul to realize how much we needed this in our lives. Don’t give up on the dream of nursing. Eventually, you might find yourself sharing this sort of relationship with the person you love!
LMM: Honesty is always the best way to handle every aspect of a healthy relationship because communication is so key! Is there anything else you’d like to tell others, Nancy?
Nancy: ANR is beautiful. I can’t picture our marriage without it because it has done so much to bring us back together. We are happy again, and our marriage is stronger than ever. The bond you read about is real. I don’t think you will ever understand it until you nurse, but it is there! If nursing improves your marriage, try it!
LMM: Thank you so much, Nancy!
Nancy: You’re welcome. Thank you for interviewing me!
I hope you enjoyed “Mending Method”. Next week (5/16/16), I’ll be sharing D’s personal ANR story in “Pure Serenity”.
To read “One Man’s Opinion”, please CLICK HERE
To read “ISO: LT ANR”, please CLICK HERE
To read “A Beautiful Discovery”, please CLICK HERE
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