Dear Loving Milk Maid: Do your Children Know About your Lifestyle Choice?

Dear Loving Milk Maid,

I hope this question isn’t too personal, but I’ve been following your blog for almost a year now, and I’m curious. Do your children know that you breastfeed their dad? How do you think they would react if they found out?

Believe it or not, I have actually been asked this question before, and the answer is very simple: no, they don’t. The nursing relationship I share with Mr. S is a very private and personal part of our marriage, and discretion is an important aspect of it. I know, this probably seems really ironic, doesn’t it, considering the fact that I blog publicly about it! But the truth is, on a day-to-day basis, in the “real” world, our ANR is not something we discuss. I’ve always thought of our ANR in terms of other adults-only topics that don’t involve the children; we don’t discuss the mortgage payment or our sex life with them, either. Mr. S and I nurse alone in a private setting and have arranged our nursing schedule around our everyday life.

Breastfeeding doesn’t really faze our children; they’ve been exposed to traditional breastfeeding relationships their entire lives. Each of my own little nursling was breastfed for nearly the first three years of their lives. If they were to discover that their father and I share an ANR, then I suppose their initial reaction might be “ew, gross”, but I’m pretty sure that would be their reaction to any of the adults-only intimacy their dad and I share. Mr. S and I have always taken a realistic approach to our ANR (especially after I began blogging about it). There’s a chance that our lifestyle could be exposed; we’ve decided that if it is, and if there are questions, we’ll discuss the subject I n a direct and logical way, in hopes of keeping embarrassment and discomfort to a minimum. For now, we don’t worry about it, though; we do our best to remain discreet and enjoy this beautiful part of our marriage to the fullest.

Being “nursing parents” is really no different from being parents. We’re raising our family very traditionally. Mr. S and I have found that in some ways, nursing has helped us to become better parents. Our ANR is a wonderful stress reliever that helps us to relax and unwind, which prepares us to face each new day’s challenges with a clear mind and fresh perspective, and our children are being raised in a nurturing and caring environment, surrounded by two parents who are obviously happily married and very much in love. As to why Mom and Dad feel the way they do? Well…let’s just say that remains our little secret.


If you have a question, or would like to talk, email lovingmilkmaid@gmail.com.

*All correspondence is handled anonymously and discreetly to protect your privacy.